Love story or tragedy
we all have our part to play.
My
mum’s life was built on a love story, her love for family, friends she cared
for but most of all mums love for my dad and his love for her. Growing up like
many family’s we had our moments but my mums love always conquered. We
were always put first at all times and mums ability to care for everyone was
inspiring, she was magnificent in my eyes and I miss her dearly. I was thinking about recovery yesterday, I
don’t think I will ever recover from missing my mum and a big part of that, the
biggest part was all that dementia brought.
My
mum met my dad and they fell in love, so there began a love story and no matter
what challenges came our way we always had love to get us through. There is a
pain in my heart that just won’t go away and I don’t think it ever will, it was
just too hard and I felt too helpless far too often. Dementia on its own can break your heart and
when dad passed away 10 years ago I thought mum would die from a broken heart, I
truly did but what is cruller to die from a broken heart or not remember the
person your heart was broken for. Mum
had family and friends to care for and worry about, she worried and cared for
everyone and everything so much so that she put aside and hidden her broken
heart. I can’t hide my broken heart, there
was too much struggle so many days feeling helpless, too little understanding
from within and towards us and in my opinion across society about dementia.
My
mum like all mums and dads deserve the right to keep their life stories
closer to love stories and away from tragedies. Society has its own part to
play until we take dementia and the understanding of dementia to the wider
society then veering towards tragedy will always be there until the people we
encounter understand the impact this illness has and their actions have on our
lives. The final chapter of our lives
and love stories will always be affected, if
only people could understand.
My
heart smiles when I think of the people who helped keep mums love story alive
against all odds during her journey with dementia, even though this was only
few, they will always have a place in my heart for helping a son and his mum
get though the best they could. The down
side is we encountered too many who held us back, who never engaged with mum, who
only saw a wee woman with dementia and almost wrote mum off. My mum was never just a wee woman with dementia, she was
Joan Whitelaw magnificent, kind, caring and right to the end her eyes
shone with love she cared more about us than many cared about her.
Love
story or tragedy what part will you play in the life of others?
Tommy
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